Do you have a hidden disability like me, whose symptoms tend to manifest often without notice, with the kind of unpredictability that can throw your life into chaos, with you on your sick bed, or hospital emergency bed: do you find when you are happening an episode or flare up, that you are struggling to grasp the situation and handle your emotions in that situation? Well if you do then you’re not alone, and this video is definitely for you!
Let’s dive straight in!
Check Your Attitude!
It is often the case that when that flare up or painful episode comes, there is a lot of anxiety and it can be easy for you to spiral and get into that place where you really don’t want to be because you can’t make good decisions in that headspace. So check your attitude and stop your emotions from blowing up into a volcano of negativity and anger. You’re gonna need that precious energy to get through this event.
Acceptance is Your Power
Don’t spend too much time in the ‘why God why???’ headspace okay? It is happening. You’ve been living with your hidden disability. The time to perhaps grasp with issues over your acceptance of it, is not NOW when you’re in the midst of your flare up or painful episode, or when you’re in a challenging situation. This is not the time. So your acceptance can be a real power for you in this situation.
Giving Yourself Love & Understanding
Give yourself Love & Understanding! Living with a hidden disability is messy! Sure life can be messy in itself too. But specifically, this is really messy. Don’t start criticising yourself now, or blaming yourself for eating something or doing something which you think may have contributed to this latest flare up – just give yourself a lot of love and compassion in this moment.
Let Everything Else Go!
You need to focus on what is right in front of you now, which is dealing with this pain, dealing with this episode, dealing with what you have to do next, whether that is going into hospital, finding your emergency medication, contacting your carer or putting into place your next steps or your protocol for what you do when you have a really bad episode. So let go of everything else. Now is not the time to be worrying about how many meetings you need to reschedule because you’re gonna be out of action, in a lot of pain, on your sick-bed. There is a time for that, sure, but it’s not right NOW, okay?
Detachment is Your Power
Detachment! Letting go of the fact that you can’t always influence, or steer, or control how your hidden disability manifests. If you’re getting to know me, then you’ll know that I’m all about putting in very good decisions, strategies and tools into your life, to enable you to live your BEST life, including your hidden disability; but the detachment in the moment that you’re going through your painful episode is to understand that again now is not the time to grapple with that, so letting go of the fact that you can’t control it, but also being detached from the fact that you don’t quite know how this is going to pan out, and you don’t really want to focus on that. So just focus on what you have to do next, right now.
Your Identity is Not Defined By This
Remember the amazing person that you are! Don’t start questioning who you are, or disliking the person that you are, with what’s happening to you. This painful episode, this element of your hidden disability does not define you okay? So if you only remember one thing from this blog please let it be this: remember the amazing person that you are!
Managing the Expectations Of Your Relevant Others
So steps 1 through 6 is all about managing yourself – your own expectations of the situation, of the implications of what’s going on with you now. However, you also need to manage the other people around you. So an example of that could be how you talk to your family and friends. Perhaps there are activities and plans coming up, and now with your flare up, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be well enough to take part. Managing their expectations quickly means that you’re not feeling that pressure, or that guilt about letting people down; because all of a sudden you have taken a turn for the worse and you’re very unwell.
So those are 7 tips all about how to deal with the unpredictability of your hidden disability, especially when you have a flare up or painful episode, or a symptom coming up that just messes everything up that you have planned. It happens a lot!
You’ve got this! I’d love to hear how you get on.
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