Some say that this is one of the more complex of family relationships, often plagued with layers of challenge, hurt, misunderstanding and conflict. We hear a lot about mothers and daughters being best friends, and sharing all aspects of each others lives in harmony, which is beautiful. How much do we hear about the flip-side to this dynamic, the not-so-pretty-to-look-at side of this important relationship?
Like many other women, this is a topic that resonates deeply with me and so I enjoy reading material on this. I came across an article recently that I find really helpful, and after digesting, I thought I’d share 3 highlights from it in this video. The fourth healing tip is my own, shared from my personal experience.
In this video you’ll learn about 4 healing tips on how to heal mother daughter relationships, as adult daughters. We talk a bit about the often painful road to healing yourself. A few ideas about how to perhaps put into motion a little bit of healing as an adult daughter with your mother.
The first tip is knowing that actually you are good enough. Really believing that you are good enough. Maybe you are full of admiration for your mother, maybe she has a strong personality, strong character or skills in a certain area, and you feel that you may not measure up to that. Creating a balance in this area which is often a source of conflict; accepting that you don’t have to validate yourself based upon the traits of your mother. This all leads to feelings of not being enough – which is a horrible weight to carry around. Please know that you are good enough!
Next, trying to understand and empathise with, your mother’s needs. Try to think about giving her grace to be where she is, in terms of her experiences in life.
Next, avoiding blame! Ooh, don’t we all love to get into this one! It is so toxic. Where can we perhaps let go of that blame? Sometimes we blame ourselves for not doing enough, not being there, not earning enough, not having the ‘right’ husband, not having any husband, not being submissive enough, not having the ideal life that our mothers wanted for us…….the list goes on and on, and it’s so consuming and really unhealthy.
Lastly, looking at ways to redirect and retrain your subconscious mind. This is something I have worked through, listening to a whole series of neurological-blueprints, and it’s basically getting rid of that inner voice that has been established over time, that is in fact actually false and has created this untrue narrative in your life which does not serve you. You re-set your mind with good understandings and good internal beliefs that are serving you, and edifying you and the wonderful gifts and the wonderful person that you are.
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