I’ve often heard it said at my yoga classes that it’s all about you on your mat. It’s not about anyone else, or looking to see what others are doing, you just focus on being on your mat and you do what your body is able to do, on that particular occasion.
I’ve always liked that. And I think there are parallels for how we live our lives.
We do sometimes, don’t we, focus a little too much on what other people are doing. We see them achieving their successes. We look at them, then we look at ourselves. We look at them again, then we look at ourselves. And then what happens? We start to compare. And then certain thoughts start to emerge, along the lines of, ‘She’s doing this now but what am I doing?’, or , ‘He’s moving on to that while I’m still here!’.
Ooooh this is a slippery slope my friend and not at all what I want for you. It’s easy to fall into that trap. It can be part of the human condition and it can happen to us all. But please please please, it is so destructive and it’s kinda toxic. I would much rather you put your energies into feeling grateful for where you are, feeling excited for where you are headed, and the person that you are becoming and just keep moving forward.
So let’s look at five stepping stones to help you authentically run your own race.
Keep Connecting With Your True Self
By strengthening that connection with yourself – who you are, what you’re about, what your goals are and why you are doing what you’re doing – it becomes easier to be stronger and more courageous. When that connection gets broken or weakened, by challenges or distractions or temporarily forgetting that you too can be excited for and about your life, we become more vulnerable to those thoughts of comparison. Those negative thoughts or internal voices telling us, essentially, that we’re good enough, but by comparison, others are.
I really believe that you need to keep on falling back in love with yourself, and what you’re about, and what you have to offer. We can’t just say one day, ‘wow, I’m all connected with myself. Now I’m all set.’ It’s not once and you’re done. No. This is a continuous process. Getting to know your true, authentic self, and then loving what you find. Liking yourself. Sure that process may involve finding parts of you that you’d like to improve or make better. That’s fine. That’s all part of it. You can still love the progress you are making, no matter how small. You can still love the efforts you are making and liking what is in your heart.
When you feel that you’re becoming more distant from your true self, then its time to reconnect and recalibrate.
Measure Your Progress. Measure Your Efforts.
It is easy to focus only on the big wins and the big successes. But that is only a small part of the story. The fuller story is in the journey it takes to get to the bigger milestones. The small daily steps. The falling down. The getting up again. The dragging yourself, finally, into the quiet time ring-fenced for you to get some passion work done. The persistence in your heart and mind and spirit to keep going. The stuff that you do when no one is looking. The tears and self-doubt and the overcoming.
Yes, most of these moments are not very flashy or necessarily interesting, but they are important. Important for you. One of my life teachers, Tony Robbins, often says, ‘Progress equals Happiness’. My goodness, how true that is, right? When I get to a yoga class and I settle down onto my mat, I’m already so happy, even before I’ve done any of the postures. Because I got myself there. I made the decision. I carved out the time. I committed to moving forward with my body’s health and fitness. I made PROGRESS.
The path to the big milestones is paved by the little pebbles of progress.
Take Regular & Honest Reviews of Where You Are Against Where You Want To Be
Now it is important to note that if you don’t honestly review where you’re at, it’s unlikely that you will make the kind of progress that you deserve. Be prepared to make regular recommitments to yourself of where it is you want to be and how you’re going to get there. Get it all out of your head and write it down on paper. It is quite powerful to see it all out there in black and white. Reconnect with why you want this goal or new practice or habit, and what it means for you. Refresh yourself in the meaning behind what it is you want to do. Then compare that to where you are now. Take another honest look with fresh eyes at what you need to do to close that gap. What are the steps you need to take to get there?
Now go do them.
Link to YouTube video – https://youtu.be/RRB9SJlAio0?si=42WsvDy0_AiWNkxL
Celebrate Others. There is more than enough for everybody!
When you do happen to see what someone else is doing, and you’re so impressed with how well they’ve conducted themselves or with what they have achieved, then celebrate them! It is lovely and healthy to celebrate another’s success. It doesn’t have to end in the direction of comparison. You can choose NOT to go down that path. There is more than enough success and celebration and abundance in this world for EVERYBODY! Why shouldn’t you be happy for them? It’s okay to let their success inspire you in a positive way to keep moving forward on YOUR path, with YOUR goals and what’s important to YOU. This is YOUR journey, and no one else’s.
But it feels good to celebrate and encourage others on THEIR journey.
Give thanks for where you are and how far you’ve come
BE GRATEFUL! GRATITUDE! Well done! Look at how far you’ve come compared to where you were before? Where you were 1 year ago? 5 years ago? 10 years ago? Even just 3 months ago? You are focussed on your race, right? This is about you. Celebrate that you’re even on this journey! That you’re here today, breathing in air, and are privileged to even be making decisions like these about what to do with your life and who you want to become, and how you want to add value in the world.
So my friend, it doesn’t matter how completely absorbing or inspiring that drama you loved on Netflix was, its not the real story. The real story is about you and what you’re about and how you want to be in this world.
I’m excited to hear how you get on.
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