Tag: invisible disabilities

How To Navigate Life Transitions With Grace – 7 Ways

Do you feel anxious about change in your life? Do you worry about how to handle change? Well my friend, this blog and video is for you!

Change is one of those things that is inevitable in life, is it not? It could sometimes feel like an unwelcome visitor that turns up at the most inconvenient time. A big turbulent wave that comes crashing into your life, knocking out and making a mess of all the order and calm that you’ve spent time cultivating!

Well, if there’s one thing we know for sure, its that change is invevitable. It comes whether you like it or not. Living with a hidden disability can bring an additional layer of complexity when dealing with life transitions, right? You may find that your physical and emotional triggers kick in because of all the STRESS!!!!! Nice. Just what you needed!

Well, let’s not get frozen in fear and anxiety. Then you’re no use to anyone. Rather, let’s have a look at some strategies that I hope could give you a different perspective, and enable you to better navigate life transitions with grace.

Are you with me? Let’s dive straight in. I have 7 ways for you to consider.

1. Acknowledge and Accept Change

First get this out of the way and then you can begin to channel your energies wisely. Acknowledge and accept that this period of change is here. Change comes whether you like it or not. Change is a part of your life. Fighting it or bemoaning the timing of it, just takes up precious space and energy that you need for yourself to navigate the path forward.

Perspective can be your friend. Why not embrace this transition as an opportunity for growth, rather than a negative setback? It doesn’t have to be that way my friend.

2.Reflect on Your Strengths & Past Successes

You are already living with your hidden disability and I know that takes courage and determination everyday. Everyday you are doing your best and making decisions from a place of inner strength. That quiet, inner determination to keep moving forward. You are stronger than you think! Identify your personal strengths and how you have achieved successes in the past.

When you reflect on how you’ve gotten through challenges in the past, it can be a springboard for you to build more and more confidence in yourself in dealing with these transitions.

3. Set Realistic Goals

It’s always helpful to look at what you need to do in bite-size chunks. Just focusing on one step at a time. When you break down the transition into manageable steps, and just keeping the immediate next step as the next main thing, the transition can start to seem a bit less daunting. You’re making progress and that always makes us feel happy.

Remember there are tried and tested goal setting strategies already in existence. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Maybe on your personal development journey you’ve already come across a mentor or coach or teacher with helpful tips on completing goals. This isn’t what this blog is about today, but the point is to leverage these strategies for your specific transition. Things like taking each step of the goal that you have chunked down into small actions, the take those actions and put them directly into your diary or calendar, giving it timings of when you’re going to do it. This makes it all much more real and manageable.

4. Cultivate a Supportive Network

It is important to be able to connect with others who understand where you’re at and what your journey is. This can help to lighten your step and make it feel less like you’re all alone.

It may be that you could benefit from relevant support groups for encouragement and advice. Maybe you have understanding friends and family, or maybe you don’t. Not everyone in you vicinity, or within close proximity will necessarily be the people who understand you. So it may be that you need to give some careful thought to who you ‘choose’ to be in your corner.

Watch Video!
5. Practice Self-Care and Mindfulness

You’re under all this pressure and so your body needs your support. Prioritise your physical and mental wellbeing. What are those routines that help you better manage stress? What can you give more of to your body so it has the space and gentle time to breathe and expand and just recharge and relax? A hot soak in the tub? Unhurried time at the sauna or steam room? Lying down flat on your back with arms and legs spaced out and just listening to gentle music or engaging the senses with some soothing incense or essential oils?

Whether its mindfulness or meditation, you want to look to practices that will make you feel grounded and reconnect to yourself. A sure way to offset the stress out there.

6. Stay Open To Learning and Adaptation

Be willing to learn new skills my friend! No need to feel overwhelmed, its just about making a decision to stay ‘open’ to your ability to learn. Sometimes it may be that you already have skills but you need to dust them down or adapt or tweak them a little bit to see you through this new transition.

Flexibility is your secret weapon! Think of all those trees that seem to be swaying in the ind of a storm. They bend and shake. They rarely break. This is you my friend. Being flexible is a super strength. you want to be able to bend, not break.

7. Celebrate Small Wins

You’re doing so well! So celebrate! Celebrating the small wins and the steps forward is going to add to your happiness and make you feel good!!! No matter how small. You are your biggest cheerleader after all, right? Only you know, deep down, just how challenging this has been, so celebrate every bit of progress you make.

These mini-triumphs will also give you more motivation to continue to move forward and to keep going.

I am excited for you and I look forward to hearing how you get on.

If you liked this then hit the ‘FOLLOW’ button, COMMENT letting me know what was your biggest takeaway, and tell a friend!

If you’d like to watch more videos then hit the ‘SUBSCRIBE’ button on my YouTube channel so we can journey together. I’d love to hear from you.

Many people ask me to share what health, wellness and beauty products I use. Instead of listing out each item individually here on the blog, I made a list of my Top 20 favourites, the ones I personally love and use here linktr.ee/tessafyffe

How To Authentically Run Your Own Race? Eyes Straight

I’ve often heard it said at my yoga classes that it’s all about you on your mat. It’s not about anyone else, or looking to see what others are doing, you just focus on being on your mat and you do what your body is able to do, on that particular occasion.

I’ve always liked that. And I think there are parallels for how we live our lives.

We do sometimes, don’t we, focus a little too much on what other people are doing. We see them achieving their successes. We look at them, then we look at ourselves. We look at them again, then we look at ourselves. And then what happens? We start to compare. And then certain thoughts start to emerge, along the lines of, ‘She’s doing this now but what am I doing?’, or , ‘He’s moving on to that while I’m still here!’.

Ooooh this is a slippery slope my friend and not at all what I want for you. It’s easy to fall into that trap. It can be part of the human condition and it can happen to us all. But please please please, it is so destructive and it’s kinda toxic. I would much rather you put your energies into feeling grateful for where you are, feeling excited for where you are headed, and the person that you are becoming and just keep moving forward.

So let’s look at five stepping stones to help you authentically run your own race.

Keep Connecting With Your True Self

By strengthening that connection with yourself – who you are, what you’re about, what your goals are and why you are doing what you’re doing – it becomes easier to be stronger and more courageous. When that connection gets broken or weakened, by challenges or distractions or temporarily forgetting that you too can be excited for and about your life, we become more vulnerable to those thoughts of comparison. Those negative thoughts or internal voices telling us, essentially, that we’re good enough, but by comparison, others are.

I really believe that you need to keep on falling back in love with yourself, and what you’re about, and what you have to offer. We can’t just say one day, ‘wow, I’m all connected with myself. Now I’m all set.’ It’s not once and you’re done. No. This is a continuous process. Getting to know your true, authentic self, and then loving what you find. Liking yourself. Sure that process may involve finding parts of you that you’d like to improve or make better. That’s fine. That’s all part of it. You can still love the progress you are making, no matter how small. You can still love the efforts you are making and liking what is in your heart.

When you feel that you’re becoming more distant from your true self, then its time to reconnect and recalibrate.

Measure Your Progress. Measure Your Efforts.

It is easy to focus only on the big wins and the big successes. But that is only a small part of the story. The fuller story is in the journey it takes to get to the bigger milestones. The small daily steps. The falling down. The getting up again. The dragging yourself, finally, into the quiet time ring-fenced for you to get some passion work done. The persistence in your heart and mind and spirit to keep going. The stuff that you do when no one is looking. The tears and self-doubt and the overcoming.

Yes, most of these moments are not very flashy or necessarily interesting, but they are important. Important for you. One of my life teachers, Tony Robbins, often says, ‘Progress equals Happiness’. My goodness, how true that is, right? When I get to a yoga class and I settle down onto my mat, I’m already so happy, even before I’ve done any of the postures. Because I got myself there. I made the decision. I carved out the time. I committed to moving forward with my body’s health and fitness. I made PROGRESS.

The path to the big milestones is paved by the little pebbles of progress.

Take Regular & Honest Reviews of Where You Are Against Where You Want To Be

Now it is important to note that if you don’t honestly review where you’re at, it’s unlikely that you will make the kind of progress that you deserve. Be prepared to make regular recommitments to yourself of where it is you want to be and how you’re going to get there. Get it all out of your head and write it down on paper. It is quite powerful to see it all out there in black and white. Reconnect with why you want this goal or new practice or habit, and what it means for you. Refresh yourself in the meaning behind what it is you want to do. Then compare that to where you are now. Take another honest look with fresh eyes at what you need to do to close that gap. What are the steps you need to take to get there?

Now go do them.

Link to YouTube video – https://youtu.be/RRB9SJlAio0?si=42WsvDy0_AiWNkxL

Celebrate Others. There is more than enough for everybody!

When you do happen to see what someone else is doing, and you’re so impressed with how well they’ve conducted themselves or with what they have achieved, then celebrate them! It is lovely and healthy to celebrate another’s success. It doesn’t have to end in the direction of comparison. You can choose NOT to go down that path. There is more than enough success and celebration and abundance in this world for EVERYBODY! Why shouldn’t you be happy for them? It’s okay to let their success inspire you in a positive way to keep moving forward on YOUR path, with YOUR goals and what’s important to YOU. This is YOUR journey, and no one else’s.

But it feels good to celebrate and encourage others on THEIR journey.

Give thanks for where you are and how far you’ve come

BE GRATEFUL! GRATITUDE! Well done! Look at how far you’ve come compared to where you were before? Where you were 1 year ago? 5 years ago? 10 years ago? Even just 3 months ago? You are focussed on your race, right? This is about you. Celebrate that you’re even on this journey! That you’re here today, breathing in air, and are privileged to even be making decisions like these about what to do with your life and who you want to become, and how you want to add value in the world.

So my friend, it doesn’t matter how completely absorbing or inspiring that drama you loved on Netflix was, its not the real story. The real story is about you and what you’re about and how you want to be in this world.

I’m excited to hear how you get on.

If you liked this then hit the ‘FOLLOW’ button, COMMENT letting me know what was your biggest takeaway, and tell a friend!

If you’d like to watch more videos then hit the ‘SUBSCRIBE’ button on my YouTube channel so we can journey together. I’d love to hear from you.

Many people ask me to share what health, wellness and beauty products I use. Instead of listing out each item individually here on the blog, I made a list of my Top 20 favourites, the ones I personally love and use here linktr.ee/tessafyffe

How To Deal With Unpredictability In Your Hidden Disability

Do you have a hidden disability like me, whose symptoms tend to manifest often without notice, with the kind of unpredictability that can throw your life into chaos, with you on your sick bed, or hospital emergency bed: do you find when you are happening an episode or flare up, that you are struggling to grasp the situation and handle your emotions in that situation? Well if you do then you’re not alone, and this video is definitely for you!

Let’s dive straight in!

Check Your Attitude!

It is often the case that when that flare up or painful episode comes, there is a lot of anxiety and it can be easy for you to spiral and get into that place where you really don’t want to be because you can’t make good decisions in that headspace. So check your attitude and stop your emotions from blowing up into a volcano of negativity and anger. You’re gonna need that precious energy to get through this event.

Acceptance is Your Power

Don’t spend too much time in the ‘why God why???’ headspace okay? It is happening. You’ve been living with your hidden disability. The time to perhaps grasp with issues over your acceptance of it, is not NOW when you’re in the midst of your flare up or painful episode, or when you’re in a challenging situation. This is not the time. So your acceptance can be a real power for you in this situation.

Giving Yourself Love & Understanding

Give yourself Love & Understanding! Living with a hidden disability is messy! Sure life can be messy in itself too. But specifically, this is really messy. Don’t start criticising yourself now, or blaming yourself for eating something or doing something which you think may have contributed to this latest flare up – just give yourself a lot of love and compassion in this moment.

Watch the Video!

Let Everything Else Go!

You need to focus on what is right in front of you now, which is dealing with this pain, dealing with this episode, dealing with what you have to do next, whether that is going into hospital, finding your emergency medication, contacting your carer or putting into place your next steps or your protocol for what you do when you have a really bad episode. So let go of everything else. Now is not the time to be worrying about how many meetings you need to reschedule because you’re gonna be out of action, in a lot of pain, on your sick-bed. There is a time for that, sure, but it’s not right NOW, okay?

Detachment is Your Power

Detachment! Letting go of the fact that you can’t always influence, or steer, or control how your hidden disability manifests. If you’re getting to know me, then you’ll know that I’m all about putting in very good decisions, strategies and tools into your life, to enable you to live your BEST life, including your hidden disability; but the detachment in the moment that you’re going through your painful episode is to understand that again now is not the time to grapple with that, so letting go of the fact that you can’t control it, but also being detached from the fact that you don’t quite know how this is going to pan out, and you don’t really want to focus on that. So just focus on what you have to do next, right now.

Your Identity is Not Defined By This

Remember the amazing person that you are! Don’t start questioning who you are, or disliking the person that you are, with what’s happening to you. This painful episode, this element of your hidden disability does not define you okay? So if you only remember one thing from this blog please let it be this: remember the amazing person that you are!

Managing the Expectations Of Your Relevant Others

So steps 1 through 6 is all about managing yourself – your own expectations of the situation, of the implications of what’s going on with you now. However, you also need to manage the other people around you. So an example of that could be how you talk to your family and friends. Perhaps there are activities and plans coming up, and now with your flare up, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be well enough to take part. Managing their expectations quickly means that you’re not feeling that pressure, or that guilt about letting people down; because all of a sudden you have taken a turn for the worse and you’re very unwell.

So those are 7 tips all about how to deal with the unpredictability of your hidden disability, especially when you have a flare up or painful episode, or a symptom coming up that just messes everything up that you have planned. It happens a lot!

You’ve got this! I’d love to hear how you get on.

If you liked this then hit the ‘FOLLOW’ button, COMMENT letting me know what was your biggest takeaway, and tell a friend!

If you’d like to watch more videos then hit the ‘SUBSCRIBE’ button on my YouTube channel so we can journey together. I’d love to hear from you.

Many people ask me to share what health, wellness and beauty products I use. Instead of listing out each item individually here on the blog, I made a list of my Top 20 favourites, the ones I personally love and use here linktr.ee/tessafyffe