Tag: #invisibleillness

5 Top Mindset Shifts For A Fulfilling Life

If someone told you that a shift in your perspective could improve your lived experience with your hidden disability, would you want to know more?

Well my friend, then this is for you!

Your mind is so powerful. It’s where it all happens. But somewhere along the path of life, we pick up this faulty, unhelpful conditioning and sometimes it sticks. And we start to believe it. And you start to think that this ‘fake news’ is really true. And you start to bend your life to fit into this belief.

If like me, you’re living with a hidden disability, there’s an even stronger need to fortify your mind so that it better serves you and supports you to be your best version of You! There’s just no space for unhelpful belief systems. The risk is too great!

Though there are many mindset shifts worthy of the spotlight and further consideration, let’s dive into these 5 here, as they also resonate with me and can bring about big changes from such comparatively small shifts.

Are you with me? Let’s do this.

Mindset Shift #1. From Limitation To POSSIBILITY

With a hidden disability, the message in the world is often one of limitation. The culture can make you think and feel that you are somehow ‘less than’. What’s that all about? Then you start to believe it to be true, and suddenly your mindset is all about limitation.

Well I would encourage you to shift that to possibility! Infinite possibilities no less! You may have become used to a low ceiling over your life. Well, in fact, there is NO ceiling!!

How about you start to view your challenges as opportunities for growth instead? Expanding your idea of what could be possible, rather than a starting point of what you think you can’t do?

Your potential to achieve greatness is HUGE! It’s about creating the space to think about your potential and allowing it to take seed in your mind, and then you can start to really believe it.

Mindset Shift #2. From Self-doubt To SELF-BELIEF

Ooooh I love this one, and its been huge for me. Cultivating a strong belief in your own abilities and potential. This is so important. You’ve gotta believe in yourself. You’ve gotta be your own #1 cheerleader. Your biggest fan. It’s like a self-belief muscle that needs to be nurtured and flexed and built and exercised so that it gets stronger and stronger.

Perhaps there is scope for you to develop and practice techniques that will help you build more self-confidence and more resilience. Trusting yourself more and actually telling yourself that. Out loud if you need to. For me, self-confidence grows from a place of knowing yourself more and better, getting clear on what I am about and why, loving myself in my skin (lumps, bumps and all) and moving forward in quiet contentment. This leads on to building resilience, because you keep moving forward. Keep moving forward. Keep moving forward.

Mindset Shift #3. From Isolation To CONNECTION

Now for me, living with a hidden disability has made me pretty familiar with isolation. It comes in all forms and shapes and colours. You can sometimes be with someone in a relationship and still have a dominant feeling of isolation. However, isolation isn’t all bad, and depending on what we’re talking about, can be quite enjoyable. But in the context a mindset shift that could positively impact your enjoyment of life with your hidden disability, there is real value in building your own supportive connections and community.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be a community of thousands, or hundreds. This is about connecting with others who are on a similar journey to you. Those people you connect with who are on your wavelength. It might be that you’re a positive person, but your loved ones and immediate circle are negative by default. They may not be bad people, but they may have picked up a negative mindset that just isn’t healthy for you to be around. You can choose to connect with other people who have a similar outlook, a similar energy, to you.

Mindset Shift #4. From Fear To COURAGE

Fear is like this pool of quicksand that keeps your feet glued to the spot, without attempting to move or change anything in your life. Living with your hidden disability may bring up a whole other category of fears: the fear of starting a new recommended treatment, the fear of starting a family, the fear of dying too soon, the fear of sharing the ‘secret’ of your hidden disability with someone you’ve just started dating……….the list goes on. Living from a place of fear holds you back.

Often, on the other side of that fear is your path to achieving personal growth. After all, courage is not the absence of fear. It’s about feeling the fear, but moving forward anyway.

Being open to strategies to help you step out of your comfort zone could be a great tool here. Embracing new experiences is often a gentle way to get yourself more used to that feeling of being uncomfortable. I always love it when Tony Robbins does his teaching on ‘getting comfortable with being uncomfortable’. Have you listened to that one before? So powerful. Because it is so true. When you can get out of your own way, and gently push yourself out of that ‘comfort zone’, and you do the thing, and the world doesn’t end, then you think ‘okay, that wasn’t so bad. What’s next?’.

Each time gets easier. And you’re building that courageous muscle. 6, 12 months from now, you may not be able to recognise yourself!

Mindset Shift #5. From Reaction To INTENTION

Hmmmm this one is so good and so powerful! Giving yourself permission to move away from living in this place of reaction. Living your life constantly reacting to the circumstances around you. Constantly ‘fire-fighting’ the emergent dramas that keep coming up. Living from one medical appointment to another. Living from one media or news headline to another. Stacking these media headlines of doom into your daily rhythm. Living from one family drama to another. Getting pulled into other people’s ’emergencies’ and latest gossip.

You’re knocking out dramas like you’re knocking baseballs out of the park. Staying in your world on your path feels like an intense workout on your abs as you try to keep your balance and your body upright.

How about practising living from a place of purpose and intention? Rather than reacting to circumstances? When you have a strong mindful and present connection to what you’re about, what’s important to you, what you want to achieve, what you need to get done………. it starts to feel like a strong magnet that’s pulling you towards it. you simply have to head in that direction. Anything that takes you away from that direction, is just not worth your time.

How can you get clarity on your clear goals or clear intentions? It can be quite powerful when you align your actions with your personal values. It can really help to keep you more purposeful and intentional. Maybe one of your important values is having peace in your life. Perhaps you’ve learnt the hard way that a lack of peace in your life aggravates your hidden disability. You’ve promised yourself that you’ll do more and more to maintain peace in your life. Pretty soon, your internal satnav gets locked into that direction. Anything that comes up that ‘steals’ your peace, you’re just not interested in, and it has less and less power over you.

If any of these resonate with you, I encourage you to implement these mindset shifts and continue to embrace your journey to self-improvement and a fulfilling life.

I look forward to hearing how you get on.

If you liked this then hit the ‘FOLLOW’ button, COMMENT letting me know what was your biggest takeaway, and tell a friend!

If you’d like to watch more videos then hit the ‘SUBSCRIBE’ button on my YouTube channel so we can journey together. I’d love to hear from you.

Many people ask me to share what health, wellness and beauty products I use. Instead of listing out each item individually here on the blog, I made a list of my Top 20 favourites, the ones I personally love and use here linktr.ee/tessafyffe

Who Else Wants To Discover Your Unique Gifts? 5 Ways

How important is it to know your unique gifts? You can grow into your authentic self better. You can know yourself better. You can enjoy more fulfilment and meaning in embracing these special parts of yourself. They are part of what makes you YOU.

Of course there is another element to this. Because its not just about you my friend. Knowing and nurturing your unique gifts can lead to you being better able to serve others. To help others. Perhaps even by using your unique gifts to help others discover THEIR gifts.

The ripple effects of you doing this inner work could really be significant…….

Not to mention that if you have a truer sense of who you are, and how you can help people, it leads to and amplifies your own personal happiness! And who doesn’t want to cultivate more happiness?

So I’d like to share 5 Ways, or 5 Stepping Stones to get you closer to that discovery.

Are you with me? Let’s do this!

1.Time To Reflect on & Review Your Passions and Interests

It is really insightful when you allow yourself the space and time to reflect on what you’re truly passionate about. What do you like? What do you love? What lights you up? What is that fire in your heart? What activities make you lose track of time? Sometimes, it helps to ask the opposite question too : what do you dislike? What gets under you skin? What makes you think that you have to respond? Or do something about?

Sometimes its refreshing to take a step back and consider what you loved doing when you were younger. When you were a child? Do you have photographs of things you always seemed to prefer doing when you were a child? Really allow yourself to search the recesses of your mind and heart. I remember back when I had to decide on what to study at university. With my Dad giving strong support and encouragement to a Law degree and legal career, it was my first choice. But, I had a real interest in Psychology and positivity, and I loved creating things with my hands using paint, or coloured pencils or pastels, and designing spaces. And I enjoyed writing, doodling, sketching…. Hmmmm.

2.Paying Attention To The Feedback You Get From Others

It can be interesting to consider what those who know you say about your strengths. Or say about your character or your personality. Why not ask those around you what they believe are your strengths? Not everyone in your life is necessarily the right person to ask………..unfortunately some people just want to pull you down to join them in their preferred pit of miserable-living. Especially when you’re trying to do something to better yourself or improve yourself. So think carefully about who you ask. Those who know you and what you’re about. Those who want good things for you. Those who care.

It can also be quite unexpectedly revealing, when you listen carefully to the compliments or the positive feedback you receive from people in general. And not necessarily those in your inner circle. You might actually start to notice a pattern or some repetition in specific qualities in you that people appreciate enough to make a comment about. Make a note of it. Write it down. Pay more attention to what you hear. It may resonate with things you had already identified about yourself or that come up in #3 below. It may serve as corroboration about what you’re doing. It may be completely out of the blue. All good intel.

3. Identify Your Unique Skills & Talents

Okay my friend. Time to do some work. Make a list of all that skills that come naturally to you. Sure, it could relate to your job, or have nothing to do with it. It could relate to you as a person, as a parent, as a woman, as a man, in your dealings with people. Maybe you have an affinity for numbers. Maybe you can transform into the world’s best Santa Claus! Maybe its to do with your physicality, or maybe its to do with your mind. It may be an obscure skill. You may think its a more common skill. The point is, all of this is unique to you. And as there is only one you, and you only express yourself as you, then every skill you identify is valid and important. And don’t forget a talent you may have or a way of doing something which you have noticed about yourself.

Then go back to the passions and interests you considered at #1 above, and have fun seeing where there may be connections or where some of them align. You’re looking for patterns or combinations that catch your eye. And nothing is off limits. If you were in charge of creating new and different ice cream flavours, you wouldn’t hold back right? There is something for everyone!

4. Be on The Look-Out & Explore New Experiences

You are on a journey of adventure otherwise known as your life. You are constantly changing and your lived experience changes. Cultivate that openness mindset to try new activities which may help you uncover your hidden talents. Sometimes a flicker of an interest in something, even when you have no idea where it came from, can lead to something else entirely!

Remember that a gentle regular push against the temporary wall of the room known as your ‘comfort zone’, is part of your job description in your journey of adventure. Reminding yourself that this is the area of growth. And if we’re not growing, like all of nature, then we’re dying. You can do this.

5. Be Intentional & Practice Self-Reflection and Meditation

Some of the best ways to reconnect with yourself and get into your innermost heart and mind, include journalling and meditation. Blocking out the noise and distraction and just being with yourself and letting all your thoughts and feelings and observations just flow out on the page. Writing it out. This has helped me so much to get better connected with me . It would be great if this could help you too. You can direct your journalling exercise specifically on this area and look at the points we’ve discussed above. Bring all this into your journalling. Similarly with meditation. Some people prefer mindfulness. Having quiet time where your focus is purely on your breathing and a mantra and your eyes are closed. Even if its just for 10 minutes at a time. you may be surprised what insights come up to the surface afterwards. Remember to capture any insights on paper, to look over later.

Start to think about those times or moments in your life when you felt full of vitality and aliveness. When you felt most fulfilled. Ponder over them. Sit with them. These too can be invaluable in pointing out to you what you should be doing more of. What you should be leaning in to. Again, look out for any patterns that may pop up.

These exercises are precious and may really surprise you.

I look forward to hearing how you get on.

If you liked this then hit the ‘FOLLOW’ button, COMMENT letting me know what was your biggest takeaway, and tell a friend!

If you’d like to watch more videos then hit the ‘SUBSCRIBE’ button on my YouTube channel so we can journey together. I’d love to hear from you.

Many people ask me to share what health, wellness and beauty products I use. Instead of listing out each item individually here on the blog, I made a list of my Top 20 favourites, the ones I personally love and use here linktr.ee/tessafyffe